


Meadow Bird

by icefeathxr



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, Rare Pairings, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-09-06 15:56:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20294113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icefeathxr/pseuds/icefeathxr
Summary: Denmark coming over to Netherlands home to sort through his thoughts.





	1. Chapter 1

The knock on the door was sudden, it echoed through the hallway, startling Jan awake. It was barely past midnight. He cautiously got up to walk toward the door, peering into the peep hole.  
Of course.  
"Mathias. What are you doing here?"  
He stood in the door frame examining Denmark, rolling his tired eyes. The Dane kept quite and held his head low.  
No answer.  
"Mathias, I'm not going to keep my door open, I can feel my heating bill creeping on my back."  
He assumed the Dane was here after a bar crawl, intoxicated out of his mind like always, but the scent of liquor wasn't lingering in the air. It wasn't until Mathias raised his head that Jan realized something was wrong. Denmark's eyes were glazed over, bloodshot and empty- not an expression he ever saw him wear.  
"... I can't be alone tonight." Mathias's voice gruff and low.  
Netherlands gave a nod and silently invited him in, closing the door and taking his coat.  
Denmark's presence in the room hung like a ghost, looming in the dark. His hair matted down, his face hollow, only slightly brightened by the subtle blue light coming from the television.   
"Get comfortable wherever you want." Jan didn't know what to do and the invitation to "get comfortable" wasn't ever part of his dialogue.  
"I would like to lay down again."  
"Er... alright? I suppose you can lay down in my bed, I don't have any spares." Netherlands never let anyone enter his room in outdoor clothing, cringing at the thought but kept his word to accommodate his friend. To his surprise, Mathias started taking off his shoes and placing them near the front of the house before standing silently waiting for Jan to lead him there.  
Denmark sat down on the edge of the bed and rigidly stared at a single, unassuming point on the wall. Jan was left standing at the foot of the bed looking at his friend with uncharacteristic worry but snapped out of it when he realized Mathias was shaking. His hazy mind provided him with the idea to get a blanket from the closet to cover him. He placed it over the Danes shoulders and sat down next to him. His aloof nature and general distant attitude weren't an asset in dealings like this.  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
There was a deafening silence. Mathias was physically there, yes, but he wasn't mentally there- his eyes continuously starting at the empty wall. The sight of Denmark like this wretched Jan's heart and in an act of bodily defiance he reached over and pulled the Dane into a hug, head hidden from Netherlands eyes. Mathias began heaving sobs as soon as his focus was broken- lungs rattling with exhaustion and cheeks on fire from constantly wiping tears away. 

Was there something he missed in their conversation not two days ago? Denmark was never in such poor shape, never a scowl or even a frown- where was this pool of emotion flowing from? 

Hours ticked by, punctuated by Denmark's sobs. Jan stood quiet guard holding him and providing tissue when needed. Still, no explanation of the onslaught of dispare came- just hollow howls of pain into the night.

The tears had stopped and the breath had calmed. Mathias unravelled himself from Netherlands and asked if he could take a hot shower, informing Jan that it would be his first in a week. He lead the Dane into the bathroom and handed him a clean towel to use after he was done.  
"Take your time."  
Jan went to make Mathias something to easy to eat, assuming he hadn't fed himself if he didn't shower. He warmed up soup he had frozen and poured it into a big glass for ease of consumption and headed back into the bedroom where it smelt like his hoppy soap. From the shower arose a sweet yet simple song, muffled by the rushing water-

"Nuku... Nuku... Nurmilintu..."

Mathias had an angelic voice, at least to Jan. He knew his singing well, babysitting with him for various memories of the large nordic family.

"Väsy... väsy... västäräkki..."

He left the soup on the nightstand next to his bed and moved toward the bathroom, wanting to hear more clearly what the Dane was singing.

"Nuku... nurmelle... hyvälle..."

The sound was haunting. Long pauses and drawn out endings. He knew this wasn't Danish, there were no harsh guttural vocalisations.

"Vaivu... maalle... valkialle..."

Every note was sang carefully, keeping his voice centred between the words. Jan finally remembered where he had heard the song.  
When Sweden took in Sealand with Tino, Mathias was the one to stay over on nights when the two had to leave for flights to meetings. Sealand was a very fussy sleeper as a baby, never getting comfortable, twisting and turning practically tumbling out of the bassinet Berwald constructed. The only thing that would calm him down was Finland softly singing to him. So, when Denmark was left to care for Peter he needed to have the key to a peaceful night and asked Tino to write out the words to the lullaby as well as listen in to learn the tune. One day when Mathias wanted to have Jan over while taking care of Peter he heard the Dane singing the lullaby through the door, diligently singing until the baby stilled and fell asleep.

"Pääskynen... peäalusen."

The water ceased. The singing stopped.


	2. Chapter 2

Mathias stepped out of the bathroom, towel tied around his hips and steam swirling around him. His hair flattened against his forehead contrasting to his usual spiked up style. Rain clanking on the gutters and thunder echoed in the distance.

"Hey." Jan broke their silence.

"Hey." Denmark replied after sitting down on the creaky bed. He looked up at Jan, face puffy and nose raw. 

There was that look. Netherlands always knew there was something... off about Mathias, he just didn't know what. His eyes carried a glint that just didn't match the rest of him- everytime Mathias would look up at him, he saw it. Never too far from the surface but never shown. But there it was. Fully in front of him. He couldn't look away, it filled him with immediate panic, he felt his breath hitch and throat burn. 

Denmark is always the happiest in the room.

Jan tore himself from the horrific reality sitting on his bed and moved to give Mathias the soup. The bed dipped when Netherlands sat down beside him, making sure he drank it all.

"That was expensive, you better finish it all."

Denmark only gave a curt smile as response.

The thunder rolled in more, but the rain had stopped. Netherlands got up and held out his hand for the Dane to grab as he lead them over to his window. He unlached the hook and opening the window, taking out a cigarette out for himself and one for Mathias before placing the box down on the sill and lighting his own. Denmark knew the tradition- he leaned over and lit his own on Jan's. It was a strange act of intimacy that they one day decided upon.

"You have a nice voice."

"Oh. Thanks. Sorry... it calms me down."

Mathias had a thing for lullabies. He never knew his mother, no one sang him to sleep. It was lucky if he even got a blanket for the night because Germania would often forget. No, he was the one who came up with lullabies to sing to his brothers and every night he would caul them into rest, no matter what. Denmark gave all that he never had to them, each and every one. He was their teacher, their cook, their sole parental figure. So lullabies signaled the end of the day- it's time to sleep. He trained himself and all this siblings to become sleepy and calm from the songs so now with every emotional flair up, he would sing himself to sleep. He's been singing frequently, Nuku Nuku becoming his favourite.

Glowing ash fell from their cigarettes and was carried away by the wind. Mathias coughed on the smoke. It reminded Jan of the first time they kissed.

It was a hot, humid day in Madrid and the nations had gathered for a world meeting- it of course escalated into fits of yelling over one another. Denmark tried his best to hold the screaming off so that the rest of the nordic collective could speak but it was absolutely no use. He sat down, dripping sweat, and started to pack up his things to leave.

"You can't leave." Norway whispered to him, loud enough for the eavesdropping Dutchman to hear but not for the cacophony of countries trying to gather themselves. 

"Yes I can. I'm sick of it. If you need me I'll be outside." 

He walked out, pretty much unnoticed by everyone except for Netherlands. This prompted Jan to walk out and join him, only just now realising his body itched for another cigarette. 

Jan found Mathias sitting on a low stone fence, suit jacket off, cup of water held by the top, unlit cigarette in his mouth. He sat down next to the Dane and signaled with his slender finger to turn to him, tilting his head down to light the others cigarette with his own. Mathias took a deep inhale and let out a cough.

"Thanks buddy." He smiled at Jan.

It was endearing how even through deep frustrations Denmark always smiled so sincerely. Almost enough to make the Dutchman reciprocate. When Mathias finished his cigarette he put out the end on the bottom of his heel, took another sip of his water and threw the butt into what remained. 

They both sat there in silence, enjoying each other's company while the sun set behind them bringing cooler breezes in. Once the sun set, the streetlights came on, though far from where they sat so only a dim glow could be seen. Jan grabbed Mathias's collar and pulled him into an unexplained kiss, Denmark pulled back in surprise at first but leaned into it almost immediately after. Neither of them questioned the motivation in the moment, just enjoyed each other's company. 

Jan pulled back first and looked into the bright blue eyes in front of him. He smiled, perhaps not as grand as Mathias did, but it was there- it was sincere.

He snapped back into reality when the Dane walked away from the window and he noticed the fully smoked cigarette in the ash tray. Netherlands quickly finished his and turned over to Mathias who now was rummaging through the Dutchman's drawers to find something to wear. He pulled out an old white tee shirt and red patterned boxers that were a touch too small on him- Jan mimicked the same clothes but with a heavy robe on as well. He watched Denmark turn the central light off, leaving only the dim glow of his bedside lamp, and sat down again on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry." Mathias had his head down, seemingly from embarrassment. Jan walked over and settled on his knees in front of Denmark to look up at him.

"Don't be sorry. I'm happy you were smart enough to think to come here."

Mathias looked into Jan's burning green eyes. There were so many emotions cast in them- passion, kindness, but presently forward was fear. Denmark knew exactly how to read Neds emotions, they were hidden but his eyes told all. His heart ached. He's never seen Jan scared. 

Ever so quietly, Mathias asked, "Can you lay next to me?". And Netherlands rose to his feet, letting his robe fall to the floor, and took his place next to Mathias before he reached over and tugged on the lamp cord to envelop them in darkness.

Jan pulled the Dane in closer to his body and placed his chin on top of Mathias's head while the smaller man reached between them and placed his hand on the Dutchman's chest.

Denmark's breath finally became steady and deep telling Jan that he was thankfully asleep. Netherlands put his lips into the mop of hair and tenderly kissed the others head.


End file.
